Writing the Five Senses
See. Smell. Hear.
Taste. Touch. We all know the five senses, experience them in our everyday
lives. But do you have them layered throughout your story? If so, do you have
too many? Not enough? And did you know that one sense can trigger another?
Imagine walking into the grocery store
and the first thing you notice is the aroma of fresh baked chocolate chip
cookies. What happens next? Your mouth begins to water in anticipation of warm,
gooey chocolate melting on your tongue. Your fingers can feel the texture of
the cookie, the stickiness of the chocolate.
What about when you look at a
painting? I have one depicting three Native Americans riding their ponies
through the snow-packed woods. When I look at them, I can hear the quiet
plodding of their horses hooves, feel the dampness of a bleak day and taste the
cold on my lips.
When writing, the five senses are all
necessary to the story. Readers want to relate to characters. Through
description, they want to see what the characters see, hear what the characters
hear. More importantly, they want to be smack-dab in the middle of the action.
They want their hearts to melt at a tender moment and their stomach to clench
when danger rears. Most importantly, they want the feel-good emotion of a happy
ending to linger long after they’ve read the last words.
Sight is perhaps the easiest to put
into words; bright blue eyes, hair the color of straw, over-sized furniture
crowded into a dark room. Smell is also easy; chicken roasting in the oven,
digging holes in fresh dirt, riding through a cow pasture. Each of these allows
your reader to see what your character sees and get a whiff of his/her
surroundings. And when you add sounds―the shrill whistle of a train, the whiny
of a horse, the murmur of voices inside a dimly lit saloon―the reader is even
more immersed in the scene.
Taste and touch are even better ways
for a reader to relate to characters. I wrote a scene where the hero uncovers a
plate of ham and grimaces. With those few words, it's clear he can't stomach
the taste of ham. How about something he does like? His mouth watered at the
aroma of apple pie wafting through the eatery. And what about things he
touches? Soft hair, the coarse fibers of a rope, the prickly husk of a
pineapple; the right adjective is sure to conjure a response in the reader's
mind, maybe even in her fingertips.
There is another aspect to touch―what
a character feels inwardly. Whether
relating to ‘matters of the heart’ or a shock to the system, it’s always best
to show what the character feels rather than to tell it. Putting a word or a
group of words in italics emphasizes emotion and internal thought, to include
disbelief, sarcasm, surprise and fear. Using body language allows the reader to
experience firsthand what the character is experiencing―a flutter in her heart,
coldness pricking her spine, knees wobbling―and allows for a better connection
to the character and the story.
As you hone your
skills, you'll find you can use one or two sentences to invoke a variety of
senses. Ex: Jack walked into the crowded restaurant. His stomach grumbled at
the delicious aroma of pumpkin pie wafting from the kitchen… and his heart
skidded to a stop when his gaze settled on a familiar face seated at the back
table. Or, beneath a hot sun, Jack crested the hill and reined in his mustang,
dragged a gloved hand across his brow and stared long and hard at the neat farm
house below. A woman stepped onto the porch and his pulse began to pound. Tall,
with long, ebony hair curling around her waist, the last time their paths had
crossed, she’d run him off her land from behind the barrel of a shotgun.
Be creative when layering the senses,
but don't use the same descriptions throughout the story. And don't over-burden
the reader with description. Good narrative and a few well-placed words and
she’ll feel as though she’s right in the middle of the action.
One of my works where the 5 senses really come into
play is Debra’s Bandit. Debra is a female bandit who is now operating the
mercantile in Revolving Point. As customers step inside the store, they first
thing they notice is the aroma of fresh baked cookies, arousing your sense of
smell and the taste of them on your tongue. Voices of other customer and the
items lining the shelves or hanging on the walls tug at your hearing and sight,
and last, feel comes into play when you move further into the store and run
your fingertips over a bolt of cloth, or a hat, or a gunbelt.
You can immerse yourself in the mercantile by grabbing
a copy of Debra’s Bandit here: www.amazon.co/dp/B0095IG390
You can also view my other works at my website: www.julielence.com
Thank you for spending time with me today. Happy
Reading!
Julie
