I am a full-time working Registered Nurse and I have been at it for 33 years coming up this summer of 2022. For much of the early years, I worked full time while being in school for my BSN and later my Masters. Later my busy became a husband and two girls along with the full-time nursing jobs. So when I had the bright idea of writing, something I had dreamed of since childhood, I thought the timing was good because my girls had gotten self-sufficient on a lot of things. Well, not so much to free me to be at my writing for any length of time. That was in 2012 and my girls were 5 and 8...well I thought it was progress they could manage their own bath and loved cereal some nights for supper.
What I found was a story in my head but a list of chores that had to come first each day. I remember telling my physician who said I needed to add even more exercise than walking a couple of times a week, he should try living my life:
Back then it was up at 5:30am, get myself and two kids dressed and breakfast and dropped at two different schools and still make it to work by 8am. Work 8 to 5 as a nurse educator, race to pick up the kids and then get done with chores. Homework, supper, dishes, pets, laundry, cleaning, and somewhere after the kids were in bed around 9...gee I have time for myself and it's already dark and I should find time to walk...oh, but my husband has to have some attention too.....BUT I WANT TO WRITE!!!!
So over time, what I found that many have not understood, is if I want to write, then I am going to have to define what time is mine and make sure my family knows...I am writing now. This took time as it mean my husband had to do more and even help with homework. It meant I pushed my girls to do the things they could do earlier. I was not the definition of a good mother by those that saw my writing as being a neglectful wife and mother. Why does the mom have to do it all...I am Generation-X...I am different and my dreams are important too--which is how I explained things. But I had to find a way to make things work for our family. So I worked harder when I got home each evening and had a routine of dinner, dishes, pets, kids, baths, homework, and I pushed to make sure we stuck to bedtime rules or I got no time to write. And the weekends, I negotiated childcare with my husband for so many hours I could write. I have carried my laptop to dance, soccer, play practice, chorus events, and I learned to snag the 30-minute lunches I get at work for a paragraph or two--on my galaxy note when I could. I took the girls skating and to the park for time to write. I also wrote at Chuckie Cheese--with earphones but it worked and everyone was happy.
I did give up the clean house, but I was never a clean and neat freak anyway. The dishes in the sink do not bother me if I have time to write. The dishes and clothes can wait. I learned on weekends, to sit at the kitchen table writing while I washed and dried 4 loads of clothes or more. But I adored it when I had vacation time. Now, let me define that. Whenever in my life I have gone on vacation, I went with a stack of books to read...that was my joy. So even now, if I am on vacation at the beach, I have a laptop. I have written some of all of my books at the beach, sitting under an umbrella with a cool drink, a hat, and sunglasses readers. That is how I roll. It's not working, it's my fun thing.
So now, eight books later and published, my family is all proud, but I still have to carve out the time I need to write or there will be none. I have had writer friends who say they have no time to write...again you have to make time. No one is gonna say to you, "Hey why don't you go write for six hours." Others have said well I cannot neglect my family. I have not neglected my girls, but I have shown them to make a dream come true you have to go for it. It's a trade-off for what you want most and I promise no one is gonna hand it to you if you crave writing time. Honestly, I gave up TV. I usually write with the noise of the TV on, but I tune it out. I have nothing much I watch on a regular basis. I know people who sit and watch 5 hours of TV or more a night...what do you want most? People have said a lot, how do you find the time to write? My answer has always been, you find the time for the things you love and want. You are in charge of your dreams....and life can be short. Make the most of it, so here are some hints you might find useful. Some things will be useful for working authors and authors who write full time and authors with families. Regardless your situation you have to schedule to time to write and it all equals----BUTT IN CHAIR~
Write early mornings, just an hour prior to your family waking for the day.
Get up earlier on the weekends for a couple of quiet hours to write.
Kill the chores fast to make time to write each day.
Use 1 or 2 days to clean and organize so the next day or two there is writing time.
Write no matter where you are, laptop, phone etc.
Negotiation childcare splitting time with husband--it's not solely yours to do.
Negotiate with kids. Buy a movie and you get to write while they watch. Order Pizza.
Escape to the library or coffee house for an hour after work or weekend days.
Plan a writer's weekend at a hotel with friends. I have found these very productive.
Go to a writer's conference, go a day early to write and write on breaks and nights.
Send the family to the park or movies-or go and take your chair and laptop.
Set up a table outside while your kids ride bikes or play outside and write.
Plan for errands during the week so you are home on weekends to write if you work.
Set a timer and let the family know the time you have to write and not to bother you.
Plan and organize what you need for your writing ahead of the time you have to sit down to write.
Mapping out a schedule of what happens when is best. Some write better mornings and others nights.
Some cannot write unless inspired--butt in chair works here--it will come--do the hour in the chair.
Write on work breaks.
Write on the bus, subway, taxi, etc.
Carry a notebook to jot down inspiration so you don't lose ideas.
Use a voice memo gadget if you don't want to write things.
Don't compare to others, just write for yourself.
Treat writing like your second job and demand your family takes you seriously.
When you do write, turn off your phone and put it in another room.
Isolate yourself in an office or writing space.
Use headphones for music or quiet.
Even 20 minutes every day might equal a scene--just don't keep correcting what is written--write ahead.
Prioritize writing time. Plan it. Follow through.
Learn to say NO if it means writing time.
Also, keep balance-diet and exercise and sleep--so you can write.
Let go of clutter things you do not enjoy in life. It is OK to say NO. It's OK to want your time.
Send the husband with a grocery list--My husband had ADD and hates to sit home for hours.
GIve the kids chores--it won't hurt them and it will carve you a bit of time.
Treat your writing like a job and make sure your family knows it is.
Track your writing to make sure you are meeting the hours you should be Butt in Chair.
Set writing goals, word count, chapters a week, or scenes a day
Have a support group of writers who understand. Share ideas.
Hey, even pee before you place your butt in chair and turn on a timer.
Know what you will be working on for that session.
Do not go back to edit, it is easier to edit a completed story! I never look back. Fix errors later.
Make your writing space a happy one! Blue is the color of creativity.
Relax exercises prior to sitting butt in chair.
Use your writing time for the story--promo on another day and time.
Define your writing priorities by scheduling them.
Plan scenes in your head or with notes until you can get to your writing time.
Set realistic goals, even a scene a week completes a novel.
