I have had to learn a lot of things along this writing path the hard way. Here are some thoughts.
Be careful about jumping in on every writing project out there. At first when I got published I only did my stories but then other things open up and it's exciting when you get invited or included. But I tell ya I have regretted any time I side stepped my stories in one way or another. There are pros and cons. I have turned down several invites based on the purpose. I have turned down others because it didn't interest me. I also know my heart is writing historical and I am not into it when not in the past. So after signing on to do an anthology recently I decided to bail. I hated the story I had worked on and it truly wasn't worth my time to invest more into it. I did detour for two different series from my press. The advantages were new friendships with authors and new readers but the disadvantages were my delaying my McCade stories further. So weigh and balance your options carefully. The right choice for me anymore is to bow out politely and stick to the stories of my heart.
Readers/beta readers/and your sister. Too many readers. Yes it happens. When I first started writing. I completed 3 stories without stopping. This was before I knew all the rules of the writing game. Once I had them done I shared with friends and some family. But honestly they were not written well but readers did love the stories and still ask about them. One day I will redo those as a three book series and release them all close together. I understand when readers can grab all of a series quick the algorithm on Amazon really jumps which mean everything more potential readers see your stories. I never could get my press to allow three books to come out a month apart for that purpose so I gave up on one project promising when I one day self pub these 3 stories yes I will do what I was planning just to see.
But back to this topic. Don't hand off your story too fast to too many. I had to learn that the hard way. With my first story that I got published Sawyer's Rose I had a lot of hands in the pot. This one liked this area and another one didn't like that. I redid and fixed any and all things anyone pointed out over about a 2 year period. Well then at some point I realized this was not longer my voice or my story. I shredded what I had. I went back to an earlier version and I redid that story yet again. So just remember I no longer change everything readers and critique partners point out. I change the things I think I need to. And I make changes where more than one person points something out.
But here is how I use readers:
Reader...just to read fast and see if they enjoy the story.
Beta readers....study through the story with a careful view to catch issues.
Critique partners...read for critical errors in story and structure.
I have had various critique partners over the years. I have often heard authors say to make sure your critique partners write the same genre. But few of my buddies in writing groups write the old west. So sometimes you gotta swap up.
English teachers do not make the best critique partners. Uhmmm just saying I have had a few teachers want to read through my stories. But what I have found is they know their grammar and stuff....but I had one that was more interested in correcting my document font and paragraphs and Indentions....which I already had set how my publishing house wants it. And while some English teachers can write story I have found some...can't let me start a sentence with "But". Things In a novel just aren't written with APA format. We break the rules at times to get a story told. And no I am not teacher bashing. I actually adored many of my English teachers and have stayed in touch over the years. It's just an example of some of the things that have cause me more work on a story that was not needed. A lot of my author friends are teachers. So I love them. But not messing with my story unless they are my critique partner.
Everyone has an opinion. Make sure it's of value to you and your story. It's OK to thank someone for their hard critique of your story and not Fix some things because that is the way you wanted it to read. I had one partner who wanted to change around 3 paragraphs in my opening of a story. And I just didn't agree and never changed it. Of course she pointed that out and I had to say...I just got a contract on the story this week. Smile. That didn't have to be changed afterall.
Weigh and measure what you can do if you want to trade critiques with other authors. And make sure to do you part if you promise. At one point I found I had obligated so many helps out there that my own writing was being neglected.
Also find out what critique partners idea of a critique really means....hard editing or a quick run through. Three chapters, 50K words or an entire rough draft.
I will confess it does not work for me to allow someone to critique three chapters. I just cannot work like that. I am frustrated easily if in a set couple of chapters so many changes are suggested that the story falls apart before I am done with a first rough draft. Honestly as I have now written over 8 books for publication I find myself writing alone until I have a completed rough draft. And then I edit it alone several run through before I share with a critique partner. I know several authors who no longer bother with critique groups or beta readers. Everyone has their own approach. And everyone knows what their editor will accept or turn down.
I myself have also had some lazy submission I knew ro edit better. And I have an editor who calls me out when I haven't done my job...as it should be. I like having a tough editor. It makes for a better story.
I have had critique partners who have read my stuff thoroughly and I have had ones I suspected scanned through and offered me little.
And a word to the wise. When you take on critiquing a story for someone make sure to clarify what they are looking for. Take the time to spell out what is needed from you. Hard edits or a quick read through.
And honestly your sister or mother or cousin isn't the one who you need ro judge your story by. Even a close friend who adores you is gonna adore your book. So sometimes family and friends don't count when editing or reading. So smile and let them read if you wish but that's all you need from them is a read and Mayne a statement on how they liked it.
I have changed critique partners over the years..sometimes it's necessary.
But word to the wise. When you ask someone to read or critique your story you need to grow a thick skin. Some point will be valid and you may have to face making changes.
If you are going to stand firm in not changing something then it needs to be for a good reason. If you are defensive at the start you won't gain much for improving your story and isn't that the goal? So have an open mind and face the music. Your story may need the help.
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